Speak Up or Forever Hold Your Piece

People get approached all the time, but some of us are so picky that we don't realize when something with REAL potential is right in our face. We ignore it, stereotype it, and keep moving. But what would happen if we really gave that thing/person a chance?

Have you ever met someone and just felt like everything about them was real? Everything they did matched a picture in your mind? I have found that when something like this occurs you have to open your mouth the moment that you start feeling something that you would love to go somewhere. Yes you are putting yourself out there, but you have to be strong. So strong to the point where if you do get rejected, you are able to bounce back and know that it was not meant to be, and if it turns out to be, that moment was not the right time. You will miss out on the best thing that can ever walk into your life if you just ignore these feelings. If it doesn't work out don't think of it as wasted time, think of it as a lesson learned. Think of it as something to help you advance to the next part of your life.

If you aren't going to open your mouth and speak up for something you want, then you need to just be quiet. You can't beat yourself up about something that you didn't attempt. If you ever make it to that point, then its your fault. Now if you wait too long and that person moves on that's how the cookie crumbles. Never rush into anything, but be smart about everything.

For all you know it can be a blessing to prepare you for one better.

Love WILL make you Stupid

People fall in love all the time, and sometimes it happens so fast that when they realize it they either get greedy or they get scared. Allow me to expand on each.

You meet someone who is everything that you never would have thought you would recieve. If this person happens to be your "first love" or at least what you think is, you get greedy. You meet other people and start wondering if things could go up hill if you get with someone else. Maybe there is better out there right? Well allow me to be one of the first to tell you....WRONG. That is NOT ALWAYS the case. Everything that glitters aint gold.
SOMETIMES you may be lucky and end up with someone that is better, but in this day and time your chances of meeting someone that treats you right is slim to none.
Scared people feel all these emotions and they don't know how to handle them. They feel that things are moving to fast and they really cant control it. God forbid they lose control of their feelings. So now their heart is in it and they want to escape "the rush". Well, that causes them to leave and let go of that one person that they might ever have in their life that will actually treat them right.

Love will make you stupid.

Think about how many times people fall in love and all the crap they put up with. Stupid right? If you don't think so you might be in the situation and I can tell you right now the people looking at you are thinking you are pretty stupid. Other ways people become stupid is they leave people who are good for them; people that make them complete. I cant say I have ever done this because I have yet to meet someone that makes me feel this way, but I do have friends that explain these feelings of love to me. I have my own way of how I believe love should feel but thats another blog for another day.

I guess what I am really trying to say to you is, if you do find someone that is going to treat you right, then stick with them. It is hard to find someone that is going to want you for more than sex, respect your mind, dreams, and ambitions. Its a hard world out there. People these days can care less about behaving, so be smart in making decisions and don't waste your time on people who aren't willing to make sacrifices for you but expect you to make some for them. Double standards never loved anyone.

(Everything I have blogged is strictly opinion. I am not responsible for any bad decisions you may make in your life and I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to hit me up if you have any questions. Poeticdiva06@gmail.com )

Wont step up? Dont step Up

Im not sure if i have covered this topic before, but for those of you who do follow me on the regular and stay up to date with my blogs, one of my twitter followers pointed something out today. She tweeted, "Fellas, if you don't step up, somebody else will...the same goes for us, females, too" and "With that last tweet said...if you're not willing to step up for someone, please...do us a favor and don't step to that someone!"
I for one can say that I do agree with what she is saying. I am not about the games and I would love for someone to step their game up and show me that they are in fact different from the other guys who have tried to approach me. For example: I have tried guys who like and try to talk to but take me no where, guys who think I should be the one that calls them and they not call me, guys who dont care about whether I want to see them or not it will happen when they want it to. All of them need to step their game up. There are also the other guys that I have friends that have attempted such as the hit and run guy, the i like you but ima try to hook you up with my friend guy, and the i dont know what i want guy but i know that i want you. Again, all these guys need to step their game up.
This is MY personal opinion so if you dont like it feel free to voice your opinion. My feelings will not get hurt. But like I was saying, if a guy wants to talk to me then he really needs to step his game up. Dont be the type who doesnt take me out, doesnt desire or attempt to take me out and think that Im going to give you the time of day. If a person likes me, they have to show me they like me. They have to put in the effort that others have refused to put in. And on top of all that, they gotta show me that they arent trying to play me and arent trying to make me look stupid, because I can tell you right now, I dont have time for the games. I been there, done that, dealt with that with friends and have observed what others have gone through. Anyone thats on that I'll leave her for you crap, or that yeah we can go out but we been talkin for how long crap, or the come on let me hit before I get with you or before I marry you crap can keep it moving. We can be friends but to be with me you gotta step your game up. If a person approaching me isnt planning on trying to make themselves stand out from the rest, dont even waste your time to approach me because like most you will get turned down.
For those of you who dont understand the concept of stepping your game up allow me to explain it to you. If you are stepping your game up you are bringing your game up to the next level. You have to make yourself stand out from all the others that are trying to talk to that person. You have to put in the effort and NOT slack off back into your old ways, which would be stepping your game down. The moment you do, like my follower said, someone else will come in and take over what you supposidly worked so hard to get. You will lose. So what do you prefer, to step ya game up and get the person you want, or to get them, be on the bull and lose them because you were slacking?
Someone once told me that once you can get into someone's head and have them thinking about you on a regular, you are in there. You actually have a chance, but I hope I got my message across, cause I personally feel that everything i said is something to think about.

Keep Doin What Ya Doin

As a woman, it has been brought to my attention that we love a man who does what he does to get us. The thing that we hate is when he stops. Why stop doing what you did to get the woman? If that is what she likes, and that is what she wants, when you stop then you are no longer the same person that she fell for. You cant go from calling a woman randomly, or texting a woman randomly to not doing either one at all. Its one thing to forget to call somebody back, but its another thing to not call them at all and expect them to do all of the possible communicating that is necessary for a relationship to work. You cant take a woman out before you all become official and have a title, then once she is yours you completely stop. You dont want to leave the house. You just become a lazy cheap bum that no longer puts in any effort to keep her happy.
What men need to realize is, that it is hard enough for a woman to meet a man that is going to make her smile day in and day out whether they fight or not. We all know that relationships are not perfect. We are not looking for a fairy tale, but we are looking for happiness. If what you did to get us, the attention you gave is what made us happy, is what made us give you a chance, then maybe you as the guy or girl in some cases that is trying to "get with" us should continue doing what you are doing after we become yours.
Some women have the mentality that just because Im your girl does not mean that I am happy being with you. Of course we try to make it work, we try to stick it out, but lets face it, we are not going to continue to stay with someone that we are not happy with. You may meet a hand full of women these days willing to put up with the crap, but a majority of single women are tired of the crap, tired of the lack of effort to keep us interested, and tired of the lack of creativity.
Im not saying go out and buy a horse, Im not saying fly the girl to vegas or show up with a prada bag. Im saying its the little things that count, whether its tweeting her saying "Hey Boo", having her wake up to a text saying "Hey beautiful", or even if one day you randomly take her for ice cream or just a simple walk in the park. No one said love or attempts of love have to be $20+ expensive. Just having a good time with a person can be enough to sweep them off of their feet and fall in love. People want to be happy, why not keep them that way.

Appreciation, Trust, and other reasons Love fails

After doing a whole lot of thinking about reasons why many of us are good people, but still single, I have drawn the conclusion that a majority of relationships may end because we do not show people we appreciate what they do for us. I for one can say that I have only had two boyfriends in my lifetime, and both of those relationships failed miserably. The first one was a good one, but like I said, he was my first boyfriend. The second one, well, I will just leave that one alone because nothing but negativity came out of it. I will say this, every now and then I did do something or attempt to do something to show I cared. For example, Boyfriend 1, i baked him heart shaped brownies, got him a chocolate rose and got some construction paper and wrote him a love poem. Boyfriend 2, I cant say I did too much for him cuz he did little for me. I was his first girlfriend so you really cant expect too much from a person who has never dated anyone. How would they know what they are doing wrong.

Now, to get to the point of this blog. Shei Atkins has a song out on YouTube called "Get a man, Keep a man". You can copy and paste this link to listen to it on your own time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jazYgACxHbE The lyrics say, "Nobody taught me how to get a man how to keep a man how to treat a man, nobody showed me how to love a man, how to please a man or take care of him...". After listening to this song a variety of times, I found that this is true for many people. How can you keep someone when you don't know how to treat them. Love isn't something that you just know how to do and what to do to keep someone happy. Sometimes being on the outside hearing people's stories of what has been done for them or what they are doing for someone can give you a few ideas. No its not original but the fact you at least thought about the person should be enough. No one wants to constantly see, be with, and spend their money on someone who doesn't know how to appreciate them, doesn't want to appreciate them, and just constantly take from them. Think of it this way, do you want to be a golddigger or do you want to be in a relationship. It NEEDS to be MUTUAL. If you can't show mutual interest and do things every now and then for someone, then if you are single you might need to stay that way until you are able to get your ish together. But for those that do enter relationships knowing they have nothing to offer, get creative. Some people do like sex, but sex is not a good way of showing your appreciation. Give them a massage, feed fruit to them, take them out for ice cream at baskin robbins on their 31 cent scoop night.

I asked a few men what they like for a woman to do for them to show appreciation. Majority of them said cook. Women, I don't know how to cook and it seems as if I need to learn. I know I am not the only one but if I meet someone prior to learning, if he is willing to be my guinea pig, then I think we can go somewhere. But seriously, men like to eat. Men just like women love to feel appreciated. Fix them dinner, take them out sometimes. It doesn't have to be an expensive dinner, it can be dessert. If your man is sore from a hard day of working out fix him a bath and give him a massage. It's okay to be outrageous and put yourself out there if you really care about someone and love them. If you give that person something to smile about and brag about whether its to themselves or to their friends and it has NOTHING to do with sex, you are getting somewhere. I can tell you right now, sex is not going to keep anyone because they can get it without the relationship.

Another reason that people tend to become single after being in a relationship is trust. If you listened to the song, Shei mentioned going through his things, his cell phone, voicemail, messages, cursing him out, hanging up in his face. Doing things like having other people in your business when you two are going through things, calling exs and stuff like that. People do these things, and these things are things that people DONT want to tolerate. If you think going through someone's things is showing them that you trust them, then maybe you need to rethink your relationship. Maybe you shouldn't be with that person if you feel invading their privacy is necessary.

Be honest with the person you are with also. Of course no one wants to get hurt, but love is a chance that you take when you want someone else in your life. If you do them wrong they have the right to know. People would prefer you be honest than you hide it. If it ends it just wasn't meant to be. No one should deal with someone cheating on them, but people, you should know your significant other, if something is wrong, you will be able to tell if you appreciate them and give them the attention they deserve.

You cant be in a relationship with your guard up, doing things just in case that person leaves. If you are going to be in a relationship you have to give it your all. How will you know if its worth it if you don't. If you half ass your relationship you will find yourself being single. You can't be scared. I know its scary but whatever happens will happen.

Think B4 You Act: I didn't want to be tied to you...or I didnt want to lose you

There is a growing problem that I have found is getting worse as the day gets old. Many people, men and women, are engaging in so many sexual activities. Problems become life changing issues. Sex becomes an escape and a prison all at the same time with no warning in between.
One problem that people seem to be facing or dealing with is someone they aren't trying to keep in their life, becoming a permanent part of their life. Sleeping with men and women; becoming or getting someone pregnant...then they get mad because they didn't want her to be their baby mama, or they wish he wasn't their baby daddy. Well guess what...he or she is. And its not like you didn't have a choice. You slept with them and something magical happened and boom...now you have a child.
The way I see it, if you don't want that person to have your baby, or if you don't want to have that person's baby, then maybe you should refuse to have sex with them. You can't get mad at a decision that you made. You can regret it, but at the time of doing it, Im sure regret was not on your mind.

Now...for the next part of this blog

The people who are running around regretting losing someone that was special to them because of their actions. You knew what you were doing. You knew that person would not approve. You did it anyway out of spite. Then when you find out that person is saying goodbye you want to cry and be upset. You want to ring their phone off the hook. You want to regret your actions after you begin dealing with the consequences.

Maybe as people who seek attention, physically and emotionally, and possibly mentally need to think before we act. We are always thinking about the now, the today, the this very second. We are allowing our IDs to take over our Super Ego. We know what is wrong and what is right, but because at the moment we dont think we will get caught we continue. You can't live like that. There will be a lifetime of regret for people you jump before they think.
Before you lay in the bed with someone or do something that you think MIGHT hurt someone, think about this...

Would you jump off of a bridge before you think about how you would feel with nothing under your feet. Would you jump before you imagine yourself hitting the ground and possibly blacking out or dying. Would you do it? No because you are afraid. Why not be afraid of birthing the baby of someone you can't stand. Why not be afraid of getting a disease that you cant get rid of? Why not fear someone walking out of your life or just leaving you and you can never ever talk to or see them again regardless of how hard you try to make things work out. Why not?

Think of life as you standing on the end of a bridge. Think about whether you are willing to face the consequences of your actions when you do fall. Maybe if you do this you can step back and realize its really not worth it.

Let Your Intentions Be Known

People are always meeting others with hopes of starting relationships somewhere down the line. These relationships can vary from friendships to serious dating relationships. The question is what is it that each person wants and are their desires and intentions known to the other person.
I have a friend who recently got disappointed due to the lack of communication between her and a guy. They had been talking for some time, but they never really understood what they were or what was going on between them.
In the beginning stages no one wants to rush into anything so they may say something along the lines of "I don't want to be in a relationship right now". Well that right now doesn't mean that their mind wont change later. After a long period of time of hanging out and talking to each other, this guy pretty much met someone who seems to be of great importance. This is the problem, they didn't discuss their intentions more than once. Just because someone is not ready when you meet don't mean that they wont be after you hang out and get to know each other better.
Another situation that someone I know has come across is that they are interested in someone and from what they could tell that person also seemed to be very interested in them. But things seem to be backing off. Everything was all good in the beginning but like the previous situation it seems to be taking a turn. Now the question is up in the air on where they are going or if either one of them are actually considering being in a relationship.
It is important that we communicate with those that we have an increasing or decreasing interest in. If you have a change of heart let the person know so that if someone else does come into the picture, you wont get your feelings hurt and wonder what could have been had you actually opened up your mouth and told them how you feel.
I know that this blog probably isn't as intense as previous blogs but I feel that it is of great importance. I know that no one likes to get hurt, so keep a line of open communication. Its better to tell someone how you feel sooner than later. Especially when you are the one having a change of heart. Yeah it can hurt them at the moment depending on how they feel but if you told them you want to try to be with them then you change your mind to keeping them in the friend zone, even if you just have to drop a hint, let it be known. If you told them that you two were just friends but you catch yourself catching feelings then yeah its possible that you can end up being that one that is hurt but who is to say that this person didn't have a change of heart and may possibly feel the same way. You never know so let your intentions be known.

Dog I dont care...Do with her as you please

It has been brought to my attention that there are some "True Dogs" out there. I don't mean dog in a nice way. I am not talking about the nasty Que dogs, or your average fuck around dog. I'm talking about the I will fuck you and pass you along to my friends type of dog. The I don't care what happens to you type of dog. Those my sistas are the ones we, as women with one of the highest STD statistics, need to watch out for.
These guys come to us and pull us in with their so called "charm". Then they go into the "I like you, but don't want to be with you". Some do tell you before you give yourself to them and some do it afterward. You know your worth, and when you are living in the fast lane, believe me...you don't care. After you get pulled in and he is telling you all these things about how much he likes you and wants to see you, you really think that he means it and you being the naive girl who actually believes and falls for this "dogs" game, gives yourself to him. Not only are you disappointed or happy depending on how good or bad his sex game is, but you fail to realize that is the moment that he believes he has you and could care less about anything else because he has gotten what he wants.
You already knew that he didn't want the relationship, but you give yourself to him. Then you close off your heart to the point where you no longer like him, but you keep doing it because you like sex and possibly figured out how to get yours when it comes to him. Not to mention there are some guys out there who do the same old boring position that you may not even like. But yet, you still continue to lower yourself for this "dog".
Let me tell you about something a "dog" has done to not me, but a few girls that i know. He has pulled them in, Got them to like him, Fucked them (some liked and some didnt), he has blew them off, and also told his friends if, "if you want to hit go ahead i dont care bout that girl". Yes, he did, they have, and there are more like them out there.
Ladies, what are we doing? We are lowering our standards because we are giving up on the fact that there are some good guys out there. We just do what we think and believe that we need to do just to get by. We need to realize we are worth so much more than these "dogs" are trying to make us seem. Think about it this way, before you even give a real dog a treat first you have to buy it, then he has to do a trick. We are feeding these "dogs" without even waiting for them to do something "special". Watch out for the dogs willing to take a bite out of your coochie, and you are sitting there with nothing to return.

The X-Factor....When Exs get in the Mix

So i have these two people I know, and well there has been some drama in their relationship due to the Ex. Now, the ex for those of you who are dumb when it comes to relationships is the last person u dated.
I have tried to keep both of my exs in my life and i must say that life is better without all of the conversations and connections. Its easier to move on without an ex. I can focus more on me and others, instead of them. But that is just as a single person. How about those who are in relationships?
Sometimes we tend to want to keep these people in our lives, but I think what we fail to look at is why? What makes these people so important that we can't seem to let go of them? Why is it that we call them, text them, message them, or find excuses to be friends with them?
Then you have to think about this. Are you in a relationship now? If you are then it must be known that drama will be a big part of your life if you are still talking to your ex while talking to your boo. Boos do not like exs point blank period. Knowing that you used to be this persons that you continue to talk to and hang around can and will make them jealous. Thoughts will enter their minds making them wonder what does that person have that I don't have? What are they doing for them that I am not? Why would they want to be with them instead of me. There are so many things that would just cause problems. And if your boo doesn't like your ex and you continue to talk to them then not only are you slapping them in the face by saying that their feelings don't care, but you are also showing a type of selfishness that can and will hurt your boo and possibly cause your relationship to fail.
People like to feel appreciated and with being in a relationship and feeling appreciated comes sacrifices. If you have to lie to keep your ex in your life then you really need to think about if you should be in this relationship. You need to think about if this ex is worth it. Why do you need them when you have that special someone already?
People are going to be jealous. Its a part of life. They will get jealous when they feel that someone else has what they want and they cant get it.
When exs get in the mix there is drama. If your boo is dramatic there is drama. So put ex + drama queen together = problems. Just think about your actions and whether or not someone should be in your life or not.
If you are going to conversate with your ex then you need to make sure that your boo is getting more of you than your ex ever will, and your ex is just going to have to respect that because they had their turn, unless you were the total screw up, then it looks like you are trying to keep them to prove your worthiness. And most of all, don't lie about it. The moment you lie is the moment that you lose all your credibility and trust.

F*** Buddies vs. Friends w/ Benefits vs. Relationships...They Differ

Sometimes girls tend to get close to these guys and may occasionally get closer to them than they should. Both people may like each other but in some cases, well...most cases, none of those things will turn into relationships. Guys these days tend to not think about getting too serious until they get into their mid 20s or later. There may be an occasional nigga every now and then but the majority just want to hit. Why bother getting into a relationship when you can get your cookies, milk, cake, and ice cream outside of one?
Some girls have F*** buddies, some niggas only want that F*** buddy type of deal, but the way a person handles that can affect the way they may see the other person. For example a F*** buddy is just that; no serious conversations, no chilling, no hanging out, no talking on the phone, no cooking...all of those types of things are things that you need to STAY AWAY FROM when with a F*** buddy. It is what it is, a F*** buddy. That means someone calls, Y'all F*** and someone leaves. There is no, or should not be any type of extra cuddling. No feelings need to be involved. Think of a the person as your free sex toy that you can rent or check out like a library book...of course you don't get to keep it as long. You just use it and move on with your life.
Now this is usually the area people get confused on what they are. This is the moment people catch feelings when they really shouldn't. Dome call this Friends with Benefits. FWBs are people you are cool with. You have fun with them, you chill with them EVERY NOW AND THEN...NOT EVERYDAY. If you don't buy your regular friends anything, you don't buy this person anything unless you just want to out of the goodness of your heart.
A FWB is a friend that you care about and basically F*** from time to time...no title, no ties, no nothing. They can talk to others just like you can talk to others. The right to get jealous is not there. The hard part is how do you give yourself to someone and not catch feelings when you obviously already care about them. Since you all are already doing what couples do, you might as well try to make it more right? WRONG!!! Being Friends with Benefits with someone is a GOOD way to lose a friend. If you decide to go there with someone make sure you guard your heart and keep your distance. Know that you are not the only one in the picture. Don't try to spend more than a few days a month with them. Everyday is when you are being labeled "pushy" and the person will think you want a relationship. Whether you do or not is irrelevant, its only what they want, especially when its a man with their mind made up. You cant change someone's mind or dreams to match up with your expectations of what you want.
Which brings me to my next thing...Relationships. A relationship is the only time that you really have to right to be around someone all the time, to be jealous, to even have some say so in their life period. Its the only time you can really call someone and really give a care about whats going on in their life. Its the only time you can even consider going on a date. This is also the time that it is okay to treat your significant other, whether temporary or not. And of course it's when you are in a relationship that you can actually have sex as much and as freely as you want and pending religion when you want.
But maybe since I have broken down the different types of relationships outside of friendship, people can be less confused on things that maybe going on in their lives. Now you know what you probably shouldn't do when "talking" to someone. And most definitely make sure you and the person you are messing with talk about your intentions with each other. If your feelings start to change you might need to have another talk because the last thing you want is to get hurt because you got the wrong idea or because you got attached and they still don't give a damn. But you know what, some people don't learn without experiencing the situation. So my best advice is to be smart, WRAP IT UP, don't get attached and most definitely guard your heart.

The "I just want to be friends" type...

It is perfectly clear and obvious that people are in need of love and intimacy. But with those of us who are women, it is like a necessity. We tend to get comfortable and fall for the guy who doesn't want a relationship but wants the friends with benefits deal. We are better than this so why do we just do it like its okay? Why do we keep lowering our standards and lowering ourselves for guys that really do not want us for the true reasons we should be desired. Then we catch feelings and pretend like we don't have them. We need to stop falling for these "BOYS" that really only want a beneficial friendship. We need to realize we are worth more than our bodies and our company. We need to realize that we need to spend time with the "MAN" that loves us, and wants us for us, not the guy who just wants us there to please him temporarily. We always say its so hard to find a man like that, but are we the ones looking or are we waiting to be found. The bible says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing". So are we being patient and letting the good guy that God created for us find us, or are we just hanging around these thugs, drug dealers, wanna-be successful country bums that dream of doing something with their lives but don't even have a plan?
When you know that you don't want a relationship then that's one thing, but the moment your feelings start to change, it may be time to go out and mingle and meet people. Don't limit yourself to something that you know can be better. If he calls you and tells you he doesn't want a relationship and he makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't want a relationship, then you must know there is a problem because obviously there is some lack of communication and he can probably sense the attachment that you are getting to him. I like to call these types the "I just want to be friends" type. It doesn't matter if you two were talking for two years and after that you catch feelings, if he says he doesn't want it. He doesn't want it.
These are the types of guys we as women really need to watch out for because if they don't have to be your man to get the benefits, then they aren't going to want to. And if you make it so they do, if they don't want a relationship they will move on to the next and best believe it will give u less stress because you would have saved yourself from pointless ridiculous stress and heartache.
I am starting to see that men are actually pretty simple. It is us women that sometimes tend to complicate things by misinterpreting words or phrases that guys may use. What they say is pretty much what they mean, but with us, what we say isn't really what we mean but something that must be decoded because everything that we do is based solely on our emotions at that moment and most of the time we are thinking of the other persons feelings. Men don't run off the same things women do. They say it, that's what they mean. Most of the time they will stick with it too, so don't get attached to a dead beat garbage type that is not worth your time. Go out and be seen and hopefully one day that God-fearing man that God created for you will find you and you two can live happily ever after.

Blessing In Disguise

Sometimes things happen that we don't expect. Sometimes those things hurt like hell. The thing that we don't realize is these things that happen might possibly be a part of God's great plan for our lives. Maybe we were being stubborn and trying to control our own destiny. So what if it doesn't work out, there are better things in store for us that we are unaware of and many blessings to come our way that are just for us, but to get to those blessings in some cases we have to go through some things. God does things in our lives to prepare us for the bright future that he has for each and every single one of us. What is for you is for you and what is for me is for me.
So today I found out my ex is expecting a child. I must say that is not something you want to here from your ex. My emotions and feelings about it were numb. I didn't know how to feel when I heard it. I couldn't feel excited, I couldn't feel upset. I couldn't laugh or cry. I really didn't know how to feel. Kinda like when your mouth is numb and you dont know that you are slobbing. That's kind of how I felt.
The message I am trying to get across here is sometimes break-ups and people leave your life for a reason. Honestly I'm glad it wasn't me because it easily could have been me. God is working wonders in our lives and we never seem to realize it, so the next time something happens in your life and you are feeling so much pain and hatred about a situation think of it as a blessing in disguise. The person that hurts you will get what they deserve, and you will get what you deserve. Start looking at everything as a blessing in disguise.

Communication is the Key

Sometimes when we meet someone that sparks our interest, the last thing we want to do is hurt them. We want to keep them around and find out all there is to know about them. Then when an issue pops up and they are able to talk to us about things we push away or halfway answer questions. Well, that is not a good way to keep someone in your life. It may work in some cases, but eventually all will fall apart and old things will come up and the entire situation can blow up and turn into something it was never supposed to be.
This brings up the issue of communication. Many people are single because of their issues with communication, not because they are looking for Mr./Miss Right. In their past relationships things may pop up with their "boo" and they would probably hold it in or bring it up at another time when something else they don't like pops up. Well the best thing to do is nip it in the bud right then and there...unless you're angry. If you are angry your best bet is to clear your mind, cool off, get your thoughts together and at least attempt to see it through the other person's point of view, then talk to them about it. Another thing that some people do is they avoid the issue and just end the relationship. My opinion about this is that if its that easy to drop them then chances are you probably weren't that into them. But if deep down inside you really want to be with them I feel you should try to work things out. Tell them how you feel. Use "I feel..." sentences and don't blame.
I am a twitter addict and I follow this person who calls himself @TonyGaskins. He said,

"If God hasn't sent you a Husband,it's because you aren't as ready as you think you are. When the Bride is ready the Groom will appear"

Well if your problem is communication, how can you expect to meet someone who will actually stay around, or that you will actually stay with until you learn to communicate. I'm just saying this because that's how I see it. If you feel differently then feel free to voice your opinion. Many of the people I have talked to have said many times that if you don't have communication your relationship will not last long. So if you avoid because you are afraid be like Ms. Frizzle on the Magic School Bus, "Take Chances, and Make Mistakes". It didn't make sense when I was younger but it definitely does now. You take a chance on love, you make mistakes with love, and that's when you learn how to handle love.

Let the Games Begin

Ok, so people are always talking about the "game of love". When you really think about it, that is life in general, but I'm going to stay on topic. With love the person that brings their "A" game wins the prize. The prize is your heart. The question is how hard are you going to make people work for it? Yeah, pretty hard if you want that real love. You don't want to make yourself too easy and too available. Once you get out of grade school, the competition gets fierce. People will cheat and do all types of dirty trickery things to try to "win" you. It's when you let them when you realize that they are actually hurting you and making the game a whole lot tougher for others.
I feel that I need to expand on this "A" game. When it comes to sports and video games people with a true love for it will put their best into it and that's what you need to do to win a heart. Not only once you get the person's attention but you also need to keep playing your cards right, or running the right plays to keep them. One wrong move and you lose, someone else is running off with your trophy. Some people have been playing longer than others and some people have been cheated and robbed from, so they may know how to play better than you. Only the strong survive in this game. Its survival of the fittest, smartest, and bravest. If you don't fall into any of those, then boy do I feel for you.
Go out and meet people while you are single. See how people are acting. Look at their reactions to what you do and how you live your life. See what pet peeves you discover about yourself that you may not have known that you had. You have to go through some things to know what you will put up with and deal with. Don't rush into anything and I promise you will find exactly what it is that you are looking for. I know everyone isn't all religious and stuff but some people do believe that God created someone for them. Men are running around trying to find their rib and Women are SUPPOSED to be out in the open waiting to be found. God may not come when you want him but he will be there on time. This can apply to finding the right person because you need to be patient. Your time will come when you are ready. Rushing will only cause problems. Like I said before, Love is game, play smart. If love was chess you wouldn't just move across the board like "O its doesn't matter what I do, I'm going to win". You need to protect your heart the way you protect your king. I mean confidence is one thing but please don't be full of yourself. Be patient. Play your cards right and Let the games begin.