Sometimes girls tend to get close to these guys and may occasionally get closer to them than they should. Both people may like each other but in some cases, well...most cases, none of those things will turn into relationships. Guys these days tend to not think about getting too serious until they get into their mid 20s or later. There may be an occasional nigga every now and then but the majority just want to hit. Why bother getting into a relationship when you can get your cookies, milk, cake, and ice cream outside of one?
Some girls have F*** buddies, some niggas only want that F*** buddy type of deal, but the way a person handles that can affect the way they may see the other person. For example a F*** buddy is just that; no serious conversations, no chilling, no hanging out, no talking on the phone, no cooking...all of those types of things are things that you need to STAY AWAY FROM when with a F*** buddy. It is what it is, a F*** buddy. That means someone calls, Y'all F*** and someone leaves. There is no, or should not be any type of extra cuddling. No feelings need to be involved. Think of a the person as your free sex toy that you can rent or check out like a library book...of course you don't get to keep it as long. You just use it and move on with your life.
Now this is usually the area people get confused on what they are. This is the moment people catch feelings when they really shouldn't. Dome call this Friends with Benefits. FWBs are people you are cool with. You have fun with them, you chill with them EVERY NOW AND THEN...NOT EVERYDAY. If you don't buy your regular friends anything, you don't buy this person anything unless you just want to out of the goodness of your heart.
A FWB is a friend that you care about and basically F*** from time to time...no title, no ties, no nothing. They can talk to others just like you can talk to others. The right to get jealous is not there. The hard part is how do you give yourself to someone and not catch feelings when you obviously already care about them. Since you all are already doing what couples do, you might as well try to make it more right? WRONG!!! Being Friends with Benefits with someone is a GOOD way to lose a friend. If you decide to go there with someone make sure you guard your heart and keep your distance. Know that you are not the only one in the picture. Don't try to spend more than a few days a month with them. Everyday is when you are being labeled "pushy" and the person will think you want a relationship. Whether you do or not is irrelevant, its only what they want, especially when its a man with their mind made up. You cant change someone's mind or dreams to match up with your expectations of what you want.
Which brings me to my next thing...Relationships. A relationship is the only time that you really have to right to be around someone all the time, to be jealous, to even have some say so in their life period. Its the only time you can really call someone and really give a care about whats going on in their life. Its the only time you can even consider going on a date. This is also the time that it is okay to treat your significant other, whether temporary or not. And of course it's when you are in a relationship that you can actually have sex as much and as freely as you want and pending religion when you want.
But maybe since I have broken down the different types of relationships outside of friendship, people can be less confused on things that maybe going on in their lives. Now you know what you probably shouldn't do when "talking" to someone. And most definitely make sure you and the person you are messing with talk about your intentions with each other. If your feelings start to change you might need to have another talk because the last thing you want is to get hurt because you got the wrong idea or because you got attached and they still don't give a damn. But you know what, some people don't learn without experiencing the situation. So my best advice is to be smart, WRAP IT UP, don't get attached and most definitely guard your heart.
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I completely agree with this blog. Base off experience there is no such thing as friends with benefits. Point blank, you're not gonna be friends any longer so now it's just benefits if that even lasts. Have you ever wondered everytime you have sex with someone that even though you're not suppose to gain feelings or a connection with that person it tends to occur anyway? That's because sex is not only a body thing but it's a soul and mental thing as well. Although the rule is not to get emotional involved we tend to anyway because mentally we are unable to control the emotions that come with sex. As women we have to care more about our bodies and minds. I hope other women get something from reading this cause it is so true.
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